


Don't leave me

by Im_GrumpyCat



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angel fic, Angels, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_GrumpyCat/pseuds/Im_GrumpyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire loves Montparnasse but he loves Enjolras too. And when Montparnasse leaves him. He does not know if he can recover. </p><p>The first chapter is pretty vague btw</p><p>There was no beta so I am sorry for my awful english</p><p> </p><p>TRIGGER WARNING. Suicide. I am am putting a trigger warning for everyone so please do not read if you are will be triggered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't leave me

What do you do when you feel like your world had ended?  
I don't know, I still don't know even though I have gone through it. When he left me, I thought I was going to die too. I know what he did to me was wrong but it did not help the pain.  
Enjolras always says it's because I was with him for so long, that he got into my head. I cannot yet believe that. As much as he hurt me. Montparnasse was the first person to love me like that. Touch me like that. He was the first person who told me that he loved me and that brings me to tears because he isn't here. 

On the sixteenth of July, Montparnasse took his own life by hanging himself in our bathroom. When I found him he was a pale as a ghost and I knew he was dead. I broke down. I cried for days, possibly months after that. They took me away as they found me there. I think they called it special care, recovery or some other kind of bullshit. He did it for me though. 

I still can't think about it much without crying. Enjolras is sympathic though. He understands and it is just another thing I love about him. He knows that even though it's fucked up. I am in love with a dead person just as much as I am in love with him. It's just different. Actually, maybe I don't love 'Parnasse after all. The lines got blurred in out relationship after a while and I have not had the time to sit down and figure it out yet but I am sure I will. But I am going off topic again. 

I'm learning to deal with it, I am coping actually. My therapist says that being with Enjolras helps and going to the les amis meetings keeps me busy. But everyone still stares at me like the pity case. Like I have some sort of 'abused' tag on me. It's going to get better I just do not know how long it's going to take.  
So this is what I am doing, I am going to recover. 

 

~Montparnasse's suicide note to Grantaire~

You know I love, rather loved you. I hurt you in inhuman ways but you never left. You never fought me. I know what I did was wrong and I am so sorry baby. Fuck I wish I had the guts to tell you how beautiful and wonderful you are.  
I wanted you to know that you should go to him. To the blond guy. He loves you and I know you love him too.  
I'm sorry for all the times I forced you. I'm sorry for not letting you eat. I'm sorry for beating you. If you knew how I was crying right now. I am so sorry my love. I love you. I will always love you. I had to do this so you could go on with your life. I am not going anywhere and you deserve so much more.  
Please don't forget how beautiful you are. How talented and smart you are. Remember the letters I used to write to you? I want you to read them again. I still love you that way. I always will and I will always be by you. 

Love Montparnasse. 

ps. I'm sorry.


End file.
